Grief is one of the hardest things we go through - and at some point, most of us will. It's usually tied to losing someone who has died, but grief can show up in lots of other ways too: grieving a chapter of your life that's ended, a person who's still here but no longer part of your world, a relationship, your health, or a future you'd pictured for yourself.
It can hit especially hard at university or college. You might be away from home for the first time, juggling deadlines and a whole new social world, suddenly trying to process a loss without your usual people around you. Grief can affect you emotionally, physically, socially and spiritually. It can knock you off your feet and change the way you see everything for a while.
Part one: when you're the one grieving
Let yourself feel it
Try to allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with grief, rather than ignoring them or pretending they're not there. Suppressing them tends to drag the process out, not speed it up.
Journaling can help. Note down how you're feeling each day and what's come up for you. Over time you might start to spot patterns - a stressful week, a bad night's sleep, or a looming deadline can all crank grief up. You might cry more, struggle to focus on your work, or want to pull back from people. These are completely normal responses, and once you accept that it's okay to feel whatever your body needs to feel, each day tends to get a little more manageable.
Talk to people
You are not alone! Almost everyone goes through grief at some point, and chances are plenty of people around you already have. Talk to your friends, your flatmates, your family - anyone you trust.
Sometimes just saying "I'm feeling really terrible" out loud and hearing someone say "I'm here for you" back is enough to make you feel less isolated and help you cope. Your friends might even have advice that worked for them, and letting people know how you're truly doing means they can actually be there for you going forward.
Look after the basics
We say it a lot, and we'll say it again: eating well, getting enough sleep and moving your body really do help you manage the emotions that come with grief. Filling your body with good food and getting it moving improves how you feel overall and gives your brain a better shot at coping with a tough, natural process.
You could find a local group activity - a walking or yoga group with others going through something similar. You can also find groups online, including on our platform, where people share their own journeys and the truth of how they're feeling about their loss. Hearing other people's stories can make you feel a lot less alone.
Honor what you've lost
It may take a while, but once you've started to accept the loss as part of your life, you may find ways to honor your loved one or whatever it is you've lost.
Think of the things your loved one enjoyed, and try doing them yourself. If you lost them to a specific cause, you could connect with others who've been through something similar and do something together - maybe even raise money for a charity tied to that cause. These things are often a positive distraction and let your mind focus on doing something good. You could also create a memorial and invite others to join you in raising a toast and celebrating their life.
Give yourself time
In her book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance. Not everyone experiences every stage, but they're a useful way to understand the emotional journey loss can take you on.
Grief is incredibly personal, and it takes time to move through. Don't try to ignore or rush the feelings you're experiencing. Some days will be better than others, some will be really tough. Try to accept whatever your mind and body throw at you, and use the tips above to steady yourself when you need to.
Reach out for extra support if you need it
If you're finding it really hard to cope, it's completely okay to reach out for more support. A counselor or therapist can help guide you through grief, and many universities and colleges have support services you can access - often for free. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don't have to go through this on your own.
Part two: when a friend is grieving
When someone you care about loses a loved one, finding the right words can feel impossible. What do you even say to someone whose whole world has been turned upside down?
The honest answer: there's no magic formula. Grief is complex and far from linear, and everyone's is different. But there are real ways to make a grieving friend feel supported. Here's how.
Acknowledge their pain
Empathy is the cornerstone of good support. Acknowledge your friend's pain without judgment and let them express their emotions freely.
Try to avoid clichés and quick fixes - lines like "everything happens for a reason" can accidentally make someone feel their experience is being brushed aside. Instead, just create a safe space for them to be honest about how they're feeling.
Listen - really listen
Sometimes the most important thing isn't saying the "right" thing, it's listening well. People often think they need the perfect words when really their friend just needs to be heard. Grief isn't a problem to be solved - it's a process to be sat with. Often, "I'm so sorry," "I can't imagine how hard this is," or even "that really sucks" is enough.
A few things that make you a better listener:
Create the space. Find somewhere quiet where you won't be interrupted, put your phone away, and make sure you've got enough time to give them your full attention. If you can't right now, be honest and offer another time.
Ask open questions. "How are you feeling?" or "What was that like for you?" invite more than a one-word answer the way "Are you okay?" doesn't. Let them lead - if their story is flowing, you don't need to jump in with more questions.
Use affirmations. Small lines like "Thanks for sharing, that can't have been easy" or "It's absolutely okay to feel this way" show you care and help them feel heard.
Reflect back what you hear. Rephrase what they've said in your own words - "It sounds like you're really struggling with this, is that right?" - so they know you've actually been listening.
Pay attention to body language. Their pace, their posture, whether they're making eye contact - these can tell you as much as their words. On your side, holding eye contact maybe 50–70% of the time, nodding, and keeping an open posture all show you're with them.
Don't rush to fill the silence. Pauses can feel awkward, but silence gives people space to reflect or steady themselves. Be patient and let them pick the story back up when they're ready.
Quiet your own internal monologue. Don't spend their talking time rehearsing your reply, and park any judgment that pops up. You don't need a genius, never-heard-before insight - you just need to be there.
Validate their feelings
Grief throws up overwhelming, sometimes contradictory emotions - anger, sadness, confusion, even moments of relief. Make sure your friend knows that whatever they're feeling is completely valid. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
If you've been through a loss yourself, you can share a little of your own experience to show them they're not alone in feeling so conflicted.
Offer practical help
Grief takes a toll on body and mind, and can make even simple tasks feel insurmountable. You can't take the pain away, but you can make life a bit easier. Offer to cook a meal, run an errand, or help with chores - never underestimate the power of another pair of hands. If you know your friend will say no but it'd genuinely help, dropping off some food with no expectation of hanging out can mean a lot.
Just be there
Sometimes helping someone grieve isn't about words, listening or even practical help - it's just about being present. Answering their call, watching something together, sitting with them while they deal with the logistics of a loss. Getting a few low-key plans in the diary can also give them something to look forward to when they're feeling up to it.
Be patient - and look after yourself too
Grief doesn't stick to a timeline. Your friend will have good days and bad days, and the intensity of it can swing around. Patience is key as they ride the ups and downs.
And remember: supporting someone is genuinely tiring, both intellectually and emotionally. You'll be a better friend if you've got the energy to give, so it's okay to take a break and recharge. If you can't be fully present in a particular moment, say so gently and offer to pick things up later - that's not letting them down.
Help them remember their person
Encourage your friend to celebrate the life of their loved one through small rituals - a memory box, lighting a candle, or doing an activity that honors them. These can give a real sense of connection, and they matter especially around the hardest dates: birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.
Keep checking in
Grief doesn't have an expiry date. Keep checking in even after the initial shock has faded - people often look "better" long before they feel it. The period after a funeral can be particularly tough, once the planning is over and everyone else seems to move on. A few extra check-ins around then can make a big difference, and they make it easier for your friend to reach out instead of bottling things up.
Know when to point them toward more support
Your support matters enormously, but sometimes a friend needs more than friends can offer. Counselors and therapists are trained to guide people through grief, and most universities have support services available. Reminding your friend that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, can make a real difference. You can't erase their pain, but you can help them feel less alone.
Whether you're grieving or walking alongside someone who is, the thread running through all of this is the same: nobody should go through it on their own.
TalkCampus connects you with a global community of students who get it - a place to share what you're going through, be there for others, and feel less alone, any time of day or night. Wherever you are in your journey, there's always someone awake and ready to listen.